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TAMPA BAY TIMES
Confessions of Martha wannabes
By JAY CRIDLIN
FEBRUARY 16, 2005
With any luck, the answer could be Tampa.
Dozens of domestic diva wannabees lined up last week in downtown Tampa for a shot at a slot on The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, in which the currently incarcerated host will take the Trump-ian approach to hiring her newest subordinate.
Never mind Martha's supposed difficulty to work with, or the rumor that she once mowed down a neighbor's gardener in her Jeep Grand Cherokee. And forget about her recent run-in with the Securities and Exchange Commission.
The Martha fans who showed up Friday didn't care about all that. They just want to meet Martha, absorb her verbal punches, heed her obsessive-compulsive demands and ease her back into society not as an ex-con, but as a respected celebrity. In other words, they want to help her focus on her salad.
We caught up with six potential contestants at last week's auditions. We'll show you who they are, and why they think they've got what it takes to take on the queen of domesticity.
Meredith Myers, 30, writer/publicist, St. Petersburg
On Martha Stewart vs. Donald Trump: "Martha Stewart's the one I want, just because I respect what she's done with her career. I like her empire. If I'm going to work for somebody, I want it to be somebody that truly can teach me something. I'm very entrepreneurial, but I don't know everything."
On the difficulty of multitasking: "I'm already doing it. I'm a Type-A, I guess. My resume is all over the place. I'm a publicist, I'm a handbag designer, I'm a novelist, I'm a comedian. I have so many different talents; I want a job where I can put my hands in everything."
On auditioning for a reality show: "I need a job. I don't have one right now, and it's hard to get a job, so if I can get a face-to-face interview with somebody that can possibly get me a job, I'll do it, regardless of whether it's on TV or not."
On her own personality: "I'm very organized. I'm having a hard time -- I have this coat with silver buttons on it, but I'm wearing gold, and that bothers me. I have a hard time going to sleep at night or working if the room's a mess. I have to make sure everything's in its place. As a writer, I have to sit in certain spots, have a certain drink."
On Martha Stewart's personality: "I've always heard that she's a very ambitious person, and very hard-working. I'm not afraid of anyone. I've worked with the biggest bitches on the planet. I was almost sued for doing a one-woman show in New York City. I can handle her, no problem. Bring it on!"
On her plans for next year: "Martha Stewart Living? Meredith Myers Living. That's the new magazine that'll be coming out next year: Meredith Myers Living."
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Six months from now, if the programming bigwigs at NBC have their way, you'll be sitting on your couch with a bag of Corn Nuts, watching Martha Stewart's new reality show and wondering: Where do they find these people?