NEW YORK POST - PAGE SIX

NOTHING'S FUNNY TO STAR FLACK

By RICHARD JOHNSON

AUGUST 1, 2003

ONE of Hollywood's most unpleasant celebrity publicists is threatening to sue a former employee over her one-woman show making fun of celebrity publicists.

A lawyer for public relations queen Nancy Seltzer - whose client roster boasts Hugh Jackman, Whitney Houston, Sean Connery and Milos Foreman - sent a stern warning letter yesterday to Meredith Myers, an ex-employee who recently gave up p.r. to seek a career as a stand-up comic.

Myers' show, "Like a Publicist," doesn't name any of the mouthpieces she's worked under in her three-year career - which also includes Sean "P. Diddy" Combs' longtime rep Nathalie Moar - but Seltzer's lawyer still felt the need to fire a warning shot.

"While I wish you every success in your new endeavor, I must caution you not to breach the confidentiality agreement you signed," writes Kenneth Glassman, who threatens Myers with dire consequences.

"In the event you breach the agreement in any way, I have been instructed to institute an immediate action to ensure compliance with the agreement, including but not limited to injunctive relief and damages."

Myers, who is currently supporting herself waiting tables, tells PAGE SIX's Ian Spiegelman: "I am extremely flattered that Ms. Seltzer, who has been in p.r. for 30 years, has such an interest in my three-year publicity career and my little one-woman show.

"While I did work for Ms. Seltzer for eight months, she did fire me on May 1 and as a result of my experiences with her, I have since decided that perhaps publicity is not a career that I intend on pursuing long-term."

Seltzer might want to buy out the front row for the performance, which runs Aug. 6-15 at Opaline on Avenue A, to savor Myers' observations of one unnamed flack:

"Her cell phone rings so much because her assistant is required to call her every 10 minutes to make her look busy and important," Myers says in one draft of the script.

Later in the show, which also details run-ins with Michael Jackson and Liza Minnelli, Myers mentions gift bags that one flack "steals in truckloads from the Oscar suites only to be "resold at her annual garage sale, in addition to a chair that apparently Julia Roberts once sat in."